1. When you haven’t lost the weight, you must get your nails done

   instead.

2. Use a self-tanner. A darker body always looks thinner.

3. Dye your hair a really fun color. The color of smoked salmon is

    always a winner. This will draw attention up and away from your

    body.

4. Wear your very best colors. This will make you look younger AND

    thinner.  Black is the best choice.

5. While talking with classmates, raise your eyebrows a lot. This

    elongates the face, which will make you look thinner.

6. If there’s dancing, get out there on the floor and shake that bootie!

    You can actually sweat off a couple of pounds and therefore actually

    BE thinner.

7. Use one of those promise-to-get-rid-of-cellulite creams. Start using

    6 weeks prior to the reunion to get maximum results. Use extra the

    day of the reunion and don’t wander too far from the Ladies’ Room.

8. Tell your classmates you’re actually someone else from the class

    (preferably a cheer leader), and they just don’t recognize you.

9. Get one of those seaweed wraps. It will not only help to eliminate

    about 5 pounds of body fluid, you’ll also smell like you’ve been to the

    beach.

10. Send your daughter -- the one who looks the most like you -- and

     have her pose as you. Fool them all.

laugh@marystarshine.com